Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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