then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
