Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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