I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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