I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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