I want to stick my p in your. b.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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