another moral hangover. fuck.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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