I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
