Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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