Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
