Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
