You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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