is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
