She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I need water and some morals
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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