checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
