My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
