what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I intend to get homeless drunk
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
