No stitches, just platelets and will power
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
