Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
