Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
