i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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