So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Less talking, more tequila
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
