Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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