The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
