Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
