dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
