apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
