Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
