I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
