I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
