I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
