Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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