great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
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You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
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So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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