She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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