Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
