We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
