So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
