I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
