There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
