So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Randomize
