Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Couch. On fire.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
