At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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