Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
