redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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