dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
