Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
