Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Randomize
