Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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