dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
