Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
they're like a gay fantastic four
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize