I want to stick my p in your. b.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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