And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
