Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
