He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
