your thong is hanging out like whoa
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
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I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
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also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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