you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
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Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
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Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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