oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Shame is for Republicans.
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