Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
My dick has a subreddit
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
