yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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