Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Randomize