In the future we'll all be gay
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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